Tell Me You Didn't Mean It
by EtainBlack
Summary: First in "The Vice series". Alex comes home to find Piper upset about something she did. Will they be able to sort through their problems? Or will their six-years long relationship be ruined just for a stupid mistake? Sorry I'm just bad at summaries XD Please read and let me know if you want me to continue! Rated T for language.


**A/N: This is just a little oneshot I came up with last night. This is my first Vauseman fanfic so I'm really excited. I'm thinking about writing more stories set in this universe and making this part of a series so let me know what you think about this one. Also English is not my first language, I'm Italian guys, so any mistakes are mine. Okay enough of this and on with the story!**

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 _Tell me you didn't mean it_

"Hey Pipes," Alex greeted as soon as she opened the front door of their shared apartment, "I'm home".

It was around 8pm in the evening and Piper could be found in the kitchen, busy fixing some dinner for the both of them. The blonde had been following a cooking class in her spare time for a few months now and, according to Alex, the results were definitely showing. So far the brunette's favorite meal was the carbonara spaghetti, she loved how Piper managed to blend together the ingredients to make such a delicious kind of pasta. After a long day at work, to Alex, coming home to homemade food made by her girlfriend was like living a dream. After all, in Alex's opinion, it was the little things which made life great.

Twenty-nine years old Alex Vause was the owner of a rather successful bar in the chaos that was New York City. It hadn't been an easy task for the girl to get to where she was now. She didn't have a father, she didn't even see him once as the bastard left them as soon as he found out her mother was pregnant. Diane did everything she could to provide for her daughter, she even worked three jobs, but nonetheless they had little to no money. Alex spent most of her childhood and teenage years alone, being teased and bullied by ignorant teens who thought they were better than her just because of their social status. It didn't help that the girl was rather shy so she wasn't able to socialize with the kids at her school, for many years her only friend had been a nice old lady who lived near their extremely small apartment.

For all these reasons obviously Alex, as smart as she was, wasn't able to go to college and as soon as she finished high school she started looking for a job to help her mother with the rent and to start making her own money. She was smart and good looking so it didn't take her long to find a job as a waitress in a bar in the good part of the town. The position of the bar was pretty good, however the owner was a tired old man who didn't do anything to attract new costumers or renew the furniture in any way so business tended to be slow for most of the days. Alex worked there for a few years, the pay wasn't too bad and after a while she was able to afford a small apartment. She thought that was it for her, that she would spend the rest of her life working a dead end job in a shitty bar which almost had no costumers at all, until one day the old man who run the bar decided he wanted to sell it. Alex could recognize an opportunity when she saw one so she gathered all of her savings and some of her mother's and, with a little help from the old owner who saw she meant well, she bought the bar. In just a few months she turned it upside down and now, four years later, _"The Vice"_ was always packed.

Of course in the meantime she had met the person who helped her the most: her amazing girlfriend, Piper Chapman. Alex knew for a fact that without Piper's support and love she wouldn't be where she was now. They had met a little more than six years before. Piper was fresh out of college, she was a pretty girl from a middle-upper class family and had a bright future ahead of her. A promising position in her father's corporation was waiting for her, however her dream was to open a homemade soap shop along with her best friend, Polly. Her dream became a reality too a little over a year ago, much to her father's temporal displeasure.

Alex fell in love with Piper from the first moment she laid her green eyes on her and the same could be said for Piper. However they went through a few struggles before they managed to call each other girlfriends. First of all there was Alex and all her doubts, she was drowning in her insecurities and she didn't think she could offer Piper the future she deserved due to her being broke. Then, once Piper made it clear she didn't care about any of that stuff, there was the blonde's family. Carol Chapman wanted her daughter to spend her life by the side of a respectable young man with a promising job, much like she had done, and not with a flat broke waitress who barely managed to put food on her own plate, let alone give Piper a comfortable life. In the end it was Bill Chapman who warmed up to Alex first once he saw her good intentions and how much she was willing to do to keep Piper happy.

They had their ups and downs but now, six years later, their relationship was still flourishing and it was embraced and encouraged by all of the blonde's family, even if both girls knew Carol still hoped for a nice man to come along and sweep Piper off her feet.

"Hi Al," Piper greeted as she added the finishing touches to the pasta, "In the kitchen".

Alex smiled softly as she watched her girlfriend from the doorframe, then she approached her from behind and put her hands on her hips, looking over her shoulder. The brunette felt Piper stiffen slightly at her touch, she frowned a bit but decided to let it go. "It smells delicious."

"Thank you." Piper subtly moved out of her reach, then took two plates out of the cupboard and placed them near the stove. "It's almost ready, can you please finish setting the table?"

The brunette nodded and proceeded with what her girlfriend had told her to do. She was a bit put off by Piper's cold behavior, no hug, no welcome home kiss, hell she didn't even look Alex in the eyes once since she came home. The worst thing however was that Alex knew exactly why the blonde was giving her the cold shoulder, she just didn't know how to make it up to her.

A few minutes later Piper came out of the kitchen with two steaming plates of what looked to be a delicious pasta. "Here." She put one in front of Alex before sitting down herself. "I tried to put a little more pepper in it this time. What do you think?"

The other girl was starving so she didn't waste any time and dug into her plate at full speed. "Mmm" she moaned as soon as the flavor hit her taste buds. "It's fantastic, Pipes. The best you've ever made." She added after she swallowed the first bite.

Piper only gave her a small smile. They didn't talk much during dinner, mostly Alex spoke about her day at the bar while Piper listened quietly. It was after dinner, when they both had finished washing the dishes, that Alex decided to confront Piper openly. She no longer wanted to pretend they were okay like Piper made her believe the night after _that_ happened.

"Piper." She joined her girlfriend on the couch where she was tucked underneath a blanket with her legs under her while watching some dumb show that was currently on TV. "Can we talk?"

For the first time that evening the blonde looked her straight in the eyes. "About?"

Alex sighed before sitting down next to her but not too close. She knew Piper was probably going to need her space for the talk they were about to have. "About the other night."

Piper sat up a little straighter as she too prepared for what would probably be an animated discussion. "Why? I've already told you how I feel about what happened."

"Yeah, I know." She pushed her glasses up her nose before continuing. "I-I just don't feel like we're okay."

"But we are" Piper interrupted.

"If we are, why it's been three days since you last hugged me like you mean it? Why it's been three days since we've had a real conversation? You can't even look me in the eyes anymore FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Alex didn't realize she had been gradually raising her voice until she felt Piper scoot a little bit further away from her. "I'm sorry Piper." She apologized pushing her glasses on top of her head. "I didn't mean to shout."

"YOU KISSED HER _BACK_ , ALEX!" It was the blonde's turn to shout. She pushed the blanket off of her and stood up. "A girl came up to you and kissed you right in front of me and what did you do? I don't remember seeing you push her away!" Alex clearly saw Piper's eyes tearing up and the sight made her heart clench. "Fuck Alex, you kissed her back while I was standing a few feet away from you! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?!"

Alex hated seeing Piper on the edge of crying. Since the day she met her she did everything she could to keep her happy, to comfort her, to not give her a reason to cry, even if it meant giving up what little she had. Alex's heart broke a little as she watched the love of her life break down in front of her over something stupid _she_ had done.

This argument was going to be painful for the both of them but at least now they were talking, now there was a chance to sort things out, because pretending they were okay was no way to solve their problems.

Alex stood up too before speaking again. "I'm sorry. We were all drunk that night and I don't know what came over me." Piper was watching her with her arms crossed, like she was trying to hug herself to keep from crumbling. "I love you Pipes, you know that. And you also know that I didn't really mean to kiss that random girl."

Alex saw Piper's lower lip tremble and a moment later the first tear left her eyes, falling across her cheek. The brunette couldn't take the distance anymore, she needed to comfort Piper, to make her feel better. The instinct to protect her girlfriend came over her and it was stronger than her, it had always been. In a second she crossed the distance the blonde had put between them and she took Piper in her arms as the other girl, for the first time since that night, cried.

"Shh... Please don't cry." She whispered holding her tight while stroking her hair. "I love you so much, Piper. You don't really think I was willing to throw away everything we built together just for a stupid kiss I gave while I was drunk to a girl I don't even remember the face of."

Piper stayed silent but Alex felt her nod against the crook of her neck. The brunette let her cry and after a few minutes, when her sobs began to calm down, she moved them to the couch, Piper on top of her so she could continue to comfort her. Alex spent what felt like hours caressing her girlfriend head and back and whispering sweet words in her ear. She could have gone on all night telling Piper she loved her but after a while she finally raised her head from her neck.

"I know you didn't mean it, Al." She paused to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry I reacted this way, it just hurt too much."

Alex looked her girlfriend in the eyes, they were red and puffy for crying but she found her beautiful nonetheless. Once again she found herself falling even more in love with this girl who was able to look over the appearances. "You don't need to apologize Piper. I'm the one who needs to do the apologizing." She caressed her face softly. "Just tell me what to do to make it up to you."

Piper didn't speak for a full minute, then she hugged Alex tighter than ever. "You don't need to do anything at all, Alex. I shouldn't have doubted your feelings in the first place."

For the first time in three days Piper smiled a real smile before she brought their lips together. God, she missed the feeling of Alex's lips against hers. The kiss was slow and sweet, it tasted like love, safeness, home. It was everything Piper had felt since the day she met Alex Vause.

"God Alex, I love you too." She said once they parted. "Maybe you don't realize how much you've already done for me. Thank you for confronting me about this, I really needed to let this all out."

"I know you did, love" Alex answered, moving some of Piper's hair behind her ear.

Now they really were okay again. They could finally return to their routine. They would fall asleep together after making love, Piper would wake up to Alex showering her face with kisses, Alex would return home to find Piper waiting for her, ready to welcome her with a hug and a kiss. They would sometime get lunch together in a cute little restaurant near both Alex's bar and Piper's soap shop. They would tell each other how much they were in love regularly and they would talk about their problems without fear like they had done for the most part of the last six years.

"Al?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold me a little longer, please?"

"Of course, Pipes. As long as you want me to."

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 **A/N: Okay I hope you liked it! As I said before I'm thinking of making this part of a series so let me know if you want me to write more stories set in _"The Vice"_ universe. Maybe I could explore the beginning of their relationship or some of the struggles they had to go through, maybe I could involve Piper's family in it. Have a nice day!**


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